I searched the house for tablets.” He pauses, and his son asks him about those suicidal thoughts. “I got up and sat in the back garden at 3am. I always try to fix things if something is broken.” “My head was like a washing machine,” he says now. Riyadh wrote down “I’m gay” on a piece of paper and handed it over. Lorraine told her son to tell his father over dinner one evening. “I hated him for what he didn’t already know,” Riyadh says. Driving around in the car together, she used to point to a good-looking man and ask: “Would you?”ĭuring this time, Riyadh’s relationship with his father soured. She was also adept at making his sexuality the new normal. “She was my shelter and my confidante,” Riyadh says. She kept her son’s secret from his father for nine months. They fell in love, married and moved to the seaside town of Bray, where they had their first son, Riyadh, two years later.Īt 16, he came out to his mother after she found gay porn on the family computer. He had always hoped to go to Europe (“I loved the way people could live freely”) and on his second attempt he reached England, where he met Lorraine, a Catholic woman from the east coast of Ireland. “You walked down every street, and there was a funeral.” Some died,” he says of the Iraq-Iran war of the time.
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Born in southern Iraq, he lived in Baghdad until 1982, when an error on a reissued birth certificate (three years were knocked off his age by mistake) gave him a window of time to escape the country before military service beckoned. It wasn’t me.” Riyadh told his father over dinner one evening, writing 'I’m gay' on a piece of paper and handing it over But it was damaging because I couldn’t live up to the expectation. “I knew you were doing it because you were worried about my safety in the big, bad world. I hadn’t got enough masculinity in me to match what you saw as normal or acceptable,” he says, addressing his father directly. “We’d been buddies so closely until that point and then, all of a sudden, I wasn’t enough. “I thought, he was going to get the shit beaten out of him, so I wanted him to toughen up. When Riyadh was in his early teens, in addition to hiking or fishing, his dad took him to karate. “I was worried he was too gentle, I needed to toughen him up,” Sam says now. I loved running around the house in my mother’s pink silk nightgown, black stilettos and anything I could find that sparkled.” At seven, his father told him to start acting like a boy. In his book, he writes that, “I was king of the sissy boys, growing up. Riyadh, 28, recalls that he was flamboyant as a child. Both men are as candid as the book, particularly with each other. There is also a necessary chapter written from the parents’ perspective, by Sam and Riyadh’s mother, Lorraine. The coming-out drama forms part of a new book by Riyadh, an Irish YouTuber and broadcaster, whose bright, conversational guide to being a young gay man – Yay! You’re Gay! Now What? – offers salient advice on topics from gender identity to anal sex.
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He was right: it took him another year, and when Riyadh came out to his dad, Sam says it “came like a fast train, it hit me very hard. Riyadh had stopped hanging out with his dad because he realised he was gay – a revelation he did not think his Muslim father, a garage owner with a passion for football and cars, would take well. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.The bigger shock was yet to come. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here. Parental tools that are compatible with the RTA label will block access to this site. We use the "Restricted To Adults" (RTA) website label to better enable parental filtering. Protect your children from adult content and block access to this site by using parental controls. PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to your children or wards. Furthermore, you represent and warrant that you will not allow any minor access to this site or services. This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography).